I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
