when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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