FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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