Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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