That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize