cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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