Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
