these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
