It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
