I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize