Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
