it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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