You're so nebulous sometimes
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
