this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize