just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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