i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
