so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
