Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
