He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
