we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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