What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm really busy with my period
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