will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize