I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
