Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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