i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
