i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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