First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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