and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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