You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
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