i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
