Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
