Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
