Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
