he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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