what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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