I am puke
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think I am morally bankrupt
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize