I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I have fence marks all over my body
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
