bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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