I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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