I've blown a few things in my day
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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