Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
