when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
