Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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