did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
