are you still at the devil's house?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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