dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
