since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
