Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
