I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
