well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
