I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My balls are so social today.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize