when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
