The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
