dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
