girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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