Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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