Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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