i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
