dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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