I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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