Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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