party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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